3 years ago my health were taken out of my control. I had an emergency c-section surgery to remove cysts that were over 12cm (your ovaries are only 2cm to put this into perspective). I had to go to the emergency room after experiencing ovarian torsion (when your ovaries twist and cut off blood supply which can leave the organ to die) to be rushed for surgery. At that point, it was too late for a laparoscopic surgery - since the tumour markers in my blood were highly elevated upon testing, if the cysts were cancerous and burst during the surgery, that would also cause my ovaries to die. So I had no other choice at that point but to get a c-section.
The complications following the surgery have been a battle to say the least. Every time I try to get up, I’m knocked back down. More testing, more procedures, more time off doing all the things that I love. I went from being in the best shape of my life to being on forced rest for multiple months of each year.
I'd be lying if I said I kept a positive attitude throughout all this. There have been dark days and weeks when appointment after appointment ended in more bad news. However, these past 3 years have taught me to be stronger than I could ever have imagined. They forced me to take a hard look at the things that REALLY matter.
I no longer look in the mirror and pick my body apart. I wake up grateful AF every single day for all the amazing things that my body CAN do. It's okay to have bad body image days, but before you let a scale weight fluctuation or a bloated belly send you into a depressive spiral, ask yourself if that will really matter to you in a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. If not, do NOT let it dictate how you feel about yourself TODAY. You are more than your body weight and your body image. Your self worth should not be dictated by any of these external factors. It's okay to want to work towards a better body - whether it's for your health or for your confidence, that's the reason why most of us start exercise or a nutrition program in the beginning.
But progress does NOT require self loathing. You can love yourself and want to be better at the same damn time.